Here We Go!

August 19, 2011

For the past 4 months, I have been anxiously and impatiently waiting for this day. The day that I would wake up, take yet another pregnancy test and actually see that beautiful plus sign! I have to admit that I have taken quite a few pregnancy tests over the last few months. Instead of waiting, I kept deciding to jump the gun and take them early. Of course, I got negative after negative. I began to get pretty discouraged after the first couple of months. I started worrying that something was wrong. Why was this taking so long? So, this morning when I decided to take another test, I had in the back of my mind that I shouldn’t get upset if it was negative again. I just had to know. Couldn’t wait. Then I saw what will forever change my life. A blue plus sign! I couldn’t believe it. I actually said out loud “is this really happening?” I went to my husband Derek and asked him if I was wishfully seeing things, or was there really a plus sign? He confirmed that I wasn’t just crazy. We honestly didn’t know what to do at that point. I remembered that I still had one more digital test in the cabinet.  I just had to see the test say “pregnant.” A few minutes later we were both hovered over that blinking hourglass sign waiting for the results. PREGNANT!

I jumped up and down, screaming and crying. We were thrilled beyond belief. We went right out to Books a million and purchased What to expect when you’re expecting. I just wanted to read something about what was going on. I’m a nurse, and I’ve studied pregnancy and childbirth, but it’s so much different when it’s actually happening in your life and not just in a textbook. There are so many things running through my mind right now. I’m excited, nervous, anxious, praying everything will be ok, afraid something could go wrong, wondering what Derek is really thinking, DYING to tell my family and friends, wondering if I will be a good mother, if I will actually be able to give this child everything that I want to give him/her. I guess for now, I will just have to wait until my first doctor’s appointment…in 4 weeks! Don’t know how I’m going to last. To my sweet little teeny tiny dot….I love you more than anything and I can’t wait to meet you!